he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
