My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
this will be a night to untag.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Randomize
