Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i barfeds in our rink
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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