I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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