well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
