so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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