I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
