Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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