does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
