I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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