2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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