no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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