i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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