Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
