I accidentally burped into my bong.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
