if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
We're facebook friends in real life
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
