Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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