i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
