the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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