it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
