i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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