You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
