Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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