After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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