yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
