I need help removing her.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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