She is in my trunk
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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