what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
