Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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