haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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