your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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