I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Randomize
