tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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