Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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