you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
