can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
