yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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