discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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