someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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