the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
