keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
