o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
