i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
