Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
