She kept screaming "best case scenario"
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
