Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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