I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
