No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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