I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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