i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
