so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
