After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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